Okay now that i have vented and had a few close friends come to my rescue and Art and I had a lovely lunch together with rational conversation....i feel better. I think sometimes a good pity party and some tears helps vent the frustrations and all that negative stuff...now I can express some things that I am grateful for that was brought home today with my melt down this morning!
like I said my children and then for my biggest support system First and foremost..i reeeeally have a wonderful mate in Art..I know that he loves me and he loves me today no matter what i look like. He loves me for what is inside..and tells me I am special and one of a kind..and that they broke the mold then made me..he he.. I know that he really is trying to help me and has promised to back off a bit on the advise. I am so sensitive, that when i am having a bad day it really bothers me bad. He did make a comment that was true...he says it looks like to him that I am waiting for something....stalling on doing all that i need to do with the weight loss...he seems to have something there...I wonder what it is?..why i am doing that?..some fear maybe....well maybe that fear that I am only loved when i am thin....and that i need to believe now the way I am now that i need to love...our brains are so much fun aren;t they?...so confusing at times...lol! So I am better in that department and I just need to soul search on my own a bit and figure that one out...and not be so hard on myself...I know all of this is my own insecurities talking...man be nice to me angela..gees
The other thing that I am grateful for are all of my wonderful girlfriends in Diva land that came to my rescue this morning and cheered me up and the ones that have been cheering me on and helping me name my papers and such the past 24 hours!! Thank you!! I cherish each and every one of you and am so grateful for having you all in my life!
I am also grateful for my health. Other than being a bit fluffy and I have high cholesterol(that is hereditary but under control...) I have excellent health. I get maybe one or two flu/colds in a year..a sniffle a couple of other times and that is it...and i get through them in 1/4 of the time than most people..I heal fast! I am in good shape....with lots of muscle and even if I am round I do have a waist and figure...think rennaisance figure here..lol! so I have many things to be grateful for..and as for all the things breaking..well none were too aweful and so far only 200 for the computer repairs..hopefully the belt for the blower isn't too much and the washer repair on monday...Like I said all minor pain in the butt stuff...oh yeah..today i backed into the garage...so there 2x3 in 3 days..that equals 6 ...I think i must be done for the year....now on to the good stuff..so tonight...some wine..and benadryl for sleeping.....and a good night sleep here I come!